


heartbreak

by Olemonade



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Angst, But not really much, F/F, eric nam is just a minor mention, slight blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 22:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olemonade/pseuds/Olemonade
Summary: who knew heartbreak could be so real.





	heartbreak

it started as an itch in her throat  
nothing unusual, but one that left her chugging warm tea throughout the day to soothe it.

she's asked by the members what is wrong and the only thing she can mutter is 'sore throat'.  
this obviously doesn't do much to stop them from babying her and not allowing her to practice all that much.

it's been a few weeks and the pain has passed, no itch, no scratching. it's almost a fever dream but not.

when she wakes up in the middle of the night coughing blood, the memories come back with a vengeance as she compares how uncannily similar the pain is.

she doesn't get much sleep that night, trying to figure out if it's just a one time thing, but the rest of the day she's only spent dodging questions on why she looks so pale with the metallic coppery taste of blood still in her mouth.

of course, like with all things that could affect her - she ignores it and erases it from her mind, figuring it's a fluke.

but when it happens in the middle of the day, right in front of the members, she figures that it might be worth getting it checked out. she backs out of the conversation, faking a choking on her water situation and quickly goes to the bathroom to clean herself up.

it's quick and it's easy, almost as if she has done it more than a few times, when in fact it has only been, including now, two in total. leaning against the sink she somehow understands that it's going to go on for a while.

 

it happens every day like a sick game, more or less the same amount with the same amount of pain, but brushing it off is her go-to, so that is what she does.

she had gone to see a doctor right after it happened the third time, in secret obviously, as she didn't want anyone - especially her company, knowing.  
he didn't know why it was happening and only prescribed her some weird medicine that made her drowsy and did nothing at all to help the blood from spilling.

the worst one happened smack dab in the middle of a concert. while rapping her whole body suddenly shook and she felt a coldness envelop her. she knew what was going to happen and had mentally prepared herself for it, but it didn't do much to help.  
she swallowed it down. somehow, miraculously, and it was passed off as just a small hiccup in her otherwise perfect slate and not talked about anymore.

after the concert had ended the members had huddled up together and asked her what had been on her mind the last few months. shaking her head she just spat out a few measly excuses of not sleeping well or overworking her throat and quickly escaped, not noticing how a familiar brown pair of eyes followed her every move, clearly not trusting what she had said.

in a way she was both grateful and a little miffed at the members because although she wasn't bugged about it all, which allowed her to relax. she also wanted them to corner her and just stare at her to death until she finally caved and told them what was going on.

slowly she was going through any doctor that she knew who specialized in throat problems, none of them helped. it was way too frustrating for her.

she had given up

when one of her members cornered her after going into her apartment she saw no escape and was too tired to go along with the lie. 

'im sick'

'yeah we can all see that, mind telling me exactly what's wrong though?'

'i dont know. im just sick.'

'how can u not know! is it depression, stomach problems? what is it!'

'i dont know okay! i just dont know. ive been coughing up blood the past few months and it's been terrible yongsun, every doctor i saw could only refer me to someone else, but no one could help.'

she breaks down that day, in yongsun's arms, and when the next few days pass without any mishaps - she almost cries tears of joy because it passed. it finally fucking passed.

her mother had always told her not to get her hopes up though, so when she starts coughing blood again her hopes are crushed and she's laying in her bed. not bothered to get up as somehow everything felt meaningless.  
contemplating on whether she should message yongsun, she doesn't get the chance when the girl herself stumbles into her room, crying about how eric and her had a fight. she spends the whole time comforting her and ignores the never-ending itch which with every second just gets worse.

she's not surprised when the pain is worse than before and when the amount of blood she coughs up could fit in a small cup, even if she has every reason to be - she's starting to see a pattern

you see, it started right at the moment when she found out yongsun and eric were a thing, she was left feeling empty but got back on her feet again.  
the rest happened when she saw yongsun light up when eric messaged her and how happy they seemed together.

when that night yongsun comforted her, it hadn't happened in a very long time so she absorbed as much as she could and laughed silently to herself as even though she felt like shit, she had also never felt better

it all came to a head with the realisation that the reason it was happening stemmed from the one person she loved the most.

her pain was the blood and love that she had for this young girl, and she knew as long as it was never reciprocated - it would never stop.

how ironic, when the person who she loved the most also caused her the most pain.

**Author's Note:**

> wow i love myself. this was so angsty, i'm genuinely so happy haha. i love how it came out. i didn't explicitly state moonbyul's name but it's pretty obvious. anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this, until next time~!
> 
> (also how hilarious is it that i posted this work on wheein's birthday like wow what a present lmao, i hope she has a wonderful time today, i love her)
> 
> (also posted on asianfanfics)


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